Amroha http://gwadarcentral.com/solicitor/expertise874763.information By Charles Ogbu
Tradition don suffer for our hands sha! The way we invoke it to justify our irresponsible behaviors, one would be forgiven to think it is the blood of Jesus which washes away every irresponsible attitude.
I mean, take a good look at the story of the marriage of Ngozi Ezeonu’s daughter without the knowledge of her father. The relevant question any reasonable human being ought to ask is:
(1) If you had played any role in the life of your daughter right from childhood to primary, secondary and university education up to her age of marriage, is there any force on earth powerful enough to stop her from inviting you and making sure you are present on her special day of marriage????
If your ADULT daughter doesn’t invite you to her wedding, doesn’t that tell you she doesn’t consider you of any value to her life??
So on what grounds are you dragging the name of your ex wife all over the place for what is clearly the decision of your adult daughter??
When marriages go south, parents need to understand it is their partners they are divorcing or separating from, not the children. So even in some cases where some bitter women go extra miles to deny the men access to the kids, efforts should be made by the men to find a way of getting themselves back into the lives of those kids. Find the damn way! You can if you want to. If you say you can’t, then you are lying. The kids go to schools from primary to secondary up to the university before getting married. There have phones. They celebrate birthdays. They go to schools that are situated in public places. If all through those stages, you as a father claim you couldn’t find a way of getting into the lives of your kids, you are just lying to yourself because you don’t care about those children.
The only case where it is justified for a father not to find a way of getting back into the lives of their kids after divorce or separation is when there is a restraining order issued by the court barring that man from going close to the kids. Aside this, any serious and RESPONSIBLE man determined to cater for his children will always find a way no matter how much the mother has tried to poison the mind of the children.
The major mistake we make is thinking that children are a bunch of morons who don’t observe things or know what is going on between their parents. They do. If you are calling your daughter, sending her love text messages as a father, sending her small small money and gifts especially on her birthdays, even if the mother na winch, the daughter will never want to have her special day of marriage without you. But no, some father will, immediately they find pleasure in the arms of another woman, forget their children and begin to act as though na the children cause the divorce or separation, abandoning every responsibility to the single mother. She will go for PTA meeting, pay school fees, do certain things she ordinarily would never do just to take care of the kids and after the children have all grown, the man whose only contribution to their lives na sperm go come balance dey expect make them invite am to give the daughter’s hand in marriage.
Which useless and mumu tradition be that???????